HELLOoo momolover nation. yesterday i saw the fnaf movie. i will not spoil it.. BUT IT WAS AMAZING!! i still can't stop thinking about it and i'm so happy.. it was amazing it was so silly and i loved it. it was the perfect fnaf movie... i didn't know what to expect.. but do not take those critic ratings to heart. the movie is not for critics, it's for the FANS!! arrghh... i loved it. i felt extremely deep urges to make fnaf fanart but what is incredibly frustrating is Idk how to make fnaf fanart. it looks bad everytime. Except like once. i spent all morning trying to draw it but i failed miserably everytime.. i get extremely tired when that happens so now i feel really fatigued it's weird. although i cannot express my fnaf love i will always have so much love in my fnaf heart..
I felt like i had more to talk about but i Don't think i do.. i'm going to see mari this weekend so that's awesome it feels like forever since the last time. this week has gone by SO slow.. i've just been playing stardew valley (i'm really bad at that game idk how the hell therm does it. what does he even do. what) and drawing i suppose.. i'm so BORED. i'm so TIRED. OH ALSO ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS FOLLOWED ME TODAY!! it's so weird when artists i idolize follow me like.. what.. why are you doing that. Stop.. my art isn't good enough for you to like it. my #1 favorite deviantart artist follows me too.. and it's strange. i do not understand... I Don't consider myself good at art i meani just do what i do i just make lines and it happens. i stopped trying to make Semirealistic art because it just. .. i did not like it.. now i draw weird faces and weird exaggerated bodies and i have Way more fun with art. but i feel inferior when it comes to oother artists.. because i feel kind of low effort and like.. i don't know. you couldn't tell i built up my skills for at least 5 years looking at my art and it is a little ..saddening. But i hate drawing if i don't draw like that it's soo not fun! i just draw characters standing in the white space.. eurgh.. But anyways i think the art platforms for me are probably twitter and deviantart. deviantart makes me feel so famous everytime i log on i have 30 notifications and at least one new follower.. and it's not discouraging when i get a lower like count than my other art.. like that's just how it works.. i get discouraged by that on twitter and i don't get as much likes but it's fun to post on it still i think. i HATE instagram it compresses everything i make and it's so stressful figuring out what to put first on slides (none of what i make is presentable) and i just don't like it.. plus i get less and less likes everytime i post and then i am very sad.. i feel like i'm not growing at all as an artist! i am trying.. i mean as in social media presence.. i'm hoping to be somewhat notable in the community at some point.. soon. like when i'm 18 i guess. i don't feel bad about my style anymore in the Unique sense.. i used to feel really bad about it.. the only thing i don't like about my art is just like.. I just have to improve i guess i'm bad at backgrounds.. well i'm not bad at them it's just i can't figure out what to do and i'm bad at figuring out situations to draw you know. i'm bad at character interactions because I Can't make up these concepts man. it is difficult for me. i think i draw them fine i just don't have anything to draw with it.. athe same thing for poses and perspective like i'm REALLY GOOD at poses but i can't think of unique ones. i can literally draw any pose i want it's really easy for me but i'm um.. not creative. i figured out i llike to draw Butts and the back (and i'm surprsingly ok at drawing it even though i never practice EVER.)but i like to always draw faces too... and i can't figure out how to draw that more. I Guess i'm saying. i think i have a lot of skil but it's not noticeable because i can't apply any of it because.. i am not creative at all. When i cannot draw for a long period of tiem it's just i'm literally have nothing in my brain. also i do still feel inferior about not having a realistic looking art style.. i Can draw from life i can draw differently it's just not good for me to. i mean I LOEV drawing from life i love doing that and it doesn't look really ugly for me to do that anymore.. OH ALSO i know all of my art recently has been digital and really messy but. it's just cause i am drawing in jspaint. i don't always draw like that.. i can draw neat i promise! it's just really fun. a few years ago i could not draw messy in an appealing way and i am really happy because now i CAN!! it was my favorite feature in other's art that it was like scribbly and messy and it was appealing and so cool.. now i can do that (i think). but right now i feel really bad about my art and i don't know why. my art on jspaint is not appealing to me personally right now.. i think i'm just having a media switch i probably will make better art on paper now. sometimes my brain just tends to different mediums and i literally can't draw on anything else.. like i drew a really good noelle holiday earlier on my work and now my digital art is bad.
Erm sorry for the longest art rant ever.. i'm viscerally soooo fatigued i'm serious.. so i'm going to end this blog for today :p