hello momolover nation.. i was out sick for a few days Apparently i had mouth foot and hand disease which is really silly.. it was also a secondary thing cause i experienced really serious symptoms for like a day like being completely bed ridden and if i got up i would stop being able to breathe.. but then i was fine the next day. anyways it's like 10am but i REALLY want to go home right now i can't stop thinking about deltarune and jerma. and also riminiscing about the days in middle school where i had no internet so i'd go to school and download a bunch of youtube videos.. why do i miss it. and i miss going to the gas station and eating iced donut holes and a hot chocolate.. oh my god.. if only... I MISS MIDDLE SCHOOL!! i mean not really it might have been one of the worst times for me mentally but i miss all of that. now i just stay inside and i watch spiderman 2 gameplay and i eat Bowls of vegetables because if i ate donut holes now i would just die. one day.. one day. also for some reason i REALLY want to play super smash bros. i miss the OST, i think it has one of the best OSTS just because it evokes such an emotional reaction from my body... (Btw i am lucario main) i love the menu theme. i haven't really played it since middle school. me and my family used to play games all the time liek super smash bros but for some reason my dad would choose games he gets really pissed at and he would just act like a huge .. i don't know.. but i haven't played some games in a while because he would just yell and yell at me everytime we played games. But i think i'll try to play super smash bros today.
Also i am going to see the fnaf movie with friends this week.. i am excited. i don't know what to expect but i am scared. i wish i could meet the animatronics in real life. i think i'd cry of happiness.. also i've been trying to talk to my friends more and show that i care about them... it all started yesterday when i realized because of my bad mental health i literally do not focus on my friends at all.. and i might care too much that they don't say anything to me but i literally don't say anything to anyone either! isn't that annoying. i'm not really scared of messaging people anymore. i used to have extremely bad anxiety about it because i didn't want to say the wrong thing or bother anyone.. but like if anyone's actually bothered by me saying How are you feeling today they could just not respond. i also can't remember a single time i've been annoyed by my friends texting me. and a few people i texted yesterday felt very happy that i messaged them so i don't know why i worry so much. one time i Pondered a message i was going to send to someone for like an hour and my heart was like.. i don't know.. spasming.. and i was SO sweaty and i was so scared. Psh.. my social anxiety isn't that bad anymore.. i mean like about useless stuff like.. this one time i couldn't stop thinking about when this dude opened the door for me in school but i thought he was walking out but he wasn't so i stood there for like a minute and i realized he was opening the door for me.. and that really upset me and made me anxious for like 2 years. stuff like that.. no wonder i used to always just panic and cry like every day. i'd like to think my mental health is better but i'm just really fatigued and tired of everything now LOL but maybe that is better..I Don't know.
OH yeah and i also played a lot of acnh over the weekend.. i haven't really worked on my island since like may, and i had a lot of fun fixing up more things. i've probably revamped my island over like 5 times by now and none of them were good. but i think it's starting to look good now.. it's kind of stressful now though since it's so messy and there are SO MANY PLANTS it's annoying and i never have space for anything else in my inventory. also i don't know what to do with the rest of the space on my island now. like i have an idea but i don't know.. i kind of want to make a whole pond because i really like when islands have a lot of water and it's cool. maybe i'll make a jumping pathway and in the middle of the pond theres a little lighthouse island.. maybe i can attach it to a neighborhood.. but i'm not really sure how. i think it's neat though. i don't know how to theme my island adn i realized i. have no color coordination but i just want it to start of as like a little lively rural town and theres trees and stuff everywhere.. it's like half structured and half of it is like foresty i guess i don't know. i think it is pretty. if i ever figure out how to take pictures from the switch hopefully i can show you all someday when i finish my island.. anyways i am a little tired now so i think this will be the end of my blog.. seeya :p