HEYY blog :D i honestly forgot that i had an entry from last month -_-. how have things been going.. WELL things have been really complicated this month.. the type of complicated where it was kind of useless to ponder over for so much time.. I HOPE THEY DON'T MIND ME TALKING ABOUT THIS but me and my partner broke up and it was kind of messy and all over the place.. sparing all the juicy details.. but I'm starting to feel way better now. AND I honestly think I handled it way better than I would have a few months ago. Which is awesome. My friend shrimp!!! has been making a website(not finished but I still think you should watch out for it.) and I watched him code yesterday and it reminded me I could work on my website which is why I'm making this blog.. I really miss coding and stuff!! but it's kind of hard to keep up with and easy to make me stressed out and get behind lol.. blogs are simple. WELL. I know I have a severe problem going on with my blogs.. this page is for superrr long ones which TAKE ME FOREVER and then I have microblogs on my main page which I'm certain no one reads because they're NOT MICRO.. they were supposed to be like 2 sentences long but I just used it for when I wanted to write about my day and not worry about it being long... T_T I'll figure it out one day when I want to.
So besides that.. how is life doing. Well. It's been pretty much a nothingburger. I've been sitting around doing basically nothing... and it's PISSING ME OFF!!!!!!! I have nothing to do ToT. well I AM getting back my motivation for art but it's still kind of hard. I wanted to have a job by now and I WOULD be doing commissions if my dad wouldn't refuse to help me get my own savings account. I KNOW I'M DOING NOTHING DUDE but it'd really HLP if I could get the IMPORTANT STUFF DOWN by now. I don't WANT to be doing nothing but he is not really helping me tbh. He's like.. you are lazy and can't do anything!! Then when I try he's like.. why are you asking me.. no it's too much this is too much. -_- and I'm still gonna have to live with this guy for an undefinite amount of time in the future. Sorry for being salty but Basically that's it. I wish I were doing more by my 18th birthday (which is in 3 days) but it is what it is I guess.. I will still try to get an ID and savings account by the time school starts again. I'M TELLING YOU I'm so bored and all I can think about is all the time I'm wasting.. life tips anyone.
Er I thought I'd have more to talk about.. I Do have a plan to finish my sketchbooks SOON I hope because I got a NEW sketchbook for christmas. It's 240 freakin pages and is sketch quality and I'm pretty scared for all of that.. that's a lot of commitment. i have to get loose and all. I'm trying my BEST.. I think my mentality has been really good but I have nothing to spend it on.. please god get me a life. If I were in charge I'd do commissions all da and work all night then move out and make a little cabin in the woods in the middle of where all my friends live and try to sustain myself to the best of my ability.. and go out to raves and parties in places I think I would trust people but also probably still with my friends. I have been having a lot of fun with my friends.. I've felt closed off for a long time but very open in the wrong ways and I'm finding a way of communication that works for me.. I think I'm confident now. Or maybe it's because I haven't been out which those situations always remind me that I'm socially inept and basically a deer in headlights.. like my recent family situation at my aunt's on christmas.. shudders... let's not think about that. speaking of christmas I got a bunch of fabric paint and markers to use for my Clothing hobby that I'm very on and off about (I'm really impatient) but.. hm.. leaves a lot of opportunities for me.. clothing commissions..!! that would be fun as heck.. I Don't think I could make clothes for myself because I'd overthinkg too much. But if i had clients who knew about what they wanted I could definitely try. I love sewing as well but I don't have so many ideas..
Not that long of an entry but I'm kind of desperate to take a shower and drink the rest of my coffee.. and I've tired myself OUT with all the thinking I've done this month.. jesus. I hope everyone is doing well and I wish everyone an amazing year..:)